The Beast Blogs

The Little Joys of Life

2009-04-22T23:20:00.002+05:30

I love watching kids sleep. When adults sleep they snore, they talk, they grumble, they rumble, they growl, they scowl. But kids will sleep quietly and innocently. It's not sleeping so much as recharging their batteries for an assault of mischief and naughtiness. I love it.

The Simple Act

2009-04-22T17:17:00.005+05:30

There is a mall about 3 kilometers from my house. It's a fairly big run-of-the-mill mall with the usual stores and a multiplex. It also has basement parking facility that I happen to use regularly. When you exit the mall, you come onto a four-lane two-way road with an island dividing the two. The railway station is to the left and and the residential areas are to the right. Naturally, most of the cars that get out of the mall need to turn right but there is no gap in the island to turn right. To head right, you take the left and there is a U-turn approximately 20 meters down the road from where you can head home. However, since this is a lightly used road most cars right and go the wrong way for about 70 meters before turning onto the correct side of the road. It is a simple act and I'm sure most Indians would call me a fool for relating this to the mess that is our politics, governance and daily life. And yet.

A Man Who Sold His Country..

2009-04-22T14:00:00.006+05:30

In India there is a man who sold his country. He took money from those that want to destroy this country so that he could be rich. In return he simply had to ensure that India would lose. And now the ruling party want him to run for parliament. Somebody please let me out.

The Problem with Relationships

2009-03-17T16:53:00.009+05:30

There is a problem with being involved in a close relationship. It's not the fear or loss, of rejection, of being someone you're not. It's the fear of being yourself. I speak only for myself of course.

Measure of Success

2009-03-17T16:40:00.002+05:30

It was a beautiful spring morning in Atlanta. After a couple of hours of work I walked out for a smoke or as we ironically called it, "Fresh Air". The skies were a beautiful blue with scattered clouds strewn across. The air was cool, pleasant and still fragrant with the smells of a spring morning. To summarize, it was an exceptionally beautiful day and I wondered why it was that I had to trudge back to a desk and 2 monitors rather than go for a walk around the Lake which was only a few minutes drive away. That's when I decided, when I can choose what to do and when to do without fear of the consequences, I will be successful.

It's 2:11 am on the 28th of February 2009

2009-02-28T02:10:00.007+05:30

I've started writing this piece without knowing what to write about. All I know is I feel like writing. I have to be up in approximately four hours but the bent body and the tired mind don't equate to good sleep. I want to listen to a Bhimsen Joshi CD, there's something powerful in his voice like Enrico Caruso and Pavarotti. Sadly, all I can hear now are the stray dogs that act like they own the night. My neighbours feed strays like it guarantees them a flowery path to heaven. The strays though, unaware of the possibly divine consequences, are definitely very canine and of the very territorial variety. They guard their territories by barking the sanity out of my mind. Someday I shall make them listen to an entire day of proceedings of the Indian parliament. It's only fair.

It's the middle of the night, life is dark and so is the sky. It's the time when I should be snoring and dreaming. But the gentle taps on the keyboard do enough to remind me that I'm awake and this is not a dream. I wonder what my dreams are. I would often tell my father that I don't have a dream for my future. What I meant was that I had so many dreams that I did not know what to do. Now that I'm a few years older I still feel the same. I want to be many things. I don't like attention so the motivation for me is purely internal satisfaction. When I'm in a relationship, I try to impress my girlfriend, I want her to feel proud of me, I want her to give me some amount of attention. But since I'm single with no girlfriend in sight or sound now the only things that matter are things that make me feel happy or satisfied. I don't know why the world believes that selfishness is a bad attribute. I'm selfish, I think about what makes me happy and so long as it doesn't hurt anyone else I see no problem with my attitude. I should be left alone and when I die the next instant or minute or decade from now I will leave no trace of my existence. The world belongs to those who are yet to come, not those who have already gone away.

It's silent now. My not-so-dear conservative canine friends are probably re-charging their batteries for another round of heated political arguments over the benefits of democracy vs. plutocracy with their crazy liberal counterparts down the lane. I'm always in support of such healthy debate, I just wish it weren't carried out within barking distance of my window. With the curtains pulled and no lights on, the glow on the laptop makes it appear to be floating on air. I remember buying this laptop for my father. It was a matter of great pride for me. I also remember how proud my father was when I bought this for him. There are some what-if's and some if-only's in life that are really painful. What-if I had done this for him and if-only I had some more time etc. The truth is you've got to take what you already have and appreciate it. The past is that and only that, the past. Therefore you move forward, whether you've learnt your lessons or not. As Douglas Adams once wrote "You live and learn. At any rate, you live".

How I'd Like To Spend Sunday Mornings...

2009-02-17T11:12:00.008+05:30

I like to wake up early on weekends. I feel that wasting any part of a weekend is a terrible idea so I'd love to wake up really early, around 4 am. This is also the time of the day when we breathe through both nostrils so maybe I'm taking in more oxygen. (See (g) ) I love taking a long walk. The roads are silent, the lights are off in most houses and the dogs are too bored to make a sound. A long walk at 4 am on a winter morning can put me in a trance.

I love to follow this up with a nice and heavy breakfast of scrambled, eggs, sausages, baked beans on toast and some nice strong coffee with milk (not burnt a la Starbucks). The breakfast experience is further enhanced by a bunch of Sunday Editions of the leading dailies. Ideally, I'd have breakfast by a balcony facing the sea. A cool breeze blowing accompanied by the relaxing repetitive laughter of the waves.

The only correct way to enhance the end the morning is to listen to Guru Dutt and Hemant Kumar songs on a good audiophile stereo.

There are few better ways to enjoy life.

Windows

2009-02-11T20:37:00.002+05:30

The windows have grills, the door has 3 latches. There's a safety door with a latch and a lock. The gate is locked.

All this to keep thieves away. Yet I feel like I'm the one in jail.

No wonder those houses in Goa seemed beautiful. There were no bars on the windows.

Haiku by a foodie

2009-01-31T19:22:00.003+05:30

Diet:
Quiet day working out
No more carbohydrates
Suffering existential angst

Sometimes...

2009-01-27T22:23:00.001+05:30

it is really embarassing to be Indian.

Mysteries of the Universe

2009-01-21T16:22:00.002+05:30

In the movies, handsome men propose to their beautiful ladies on bended knee. The event usually takes place in a beautiful restaurant and the ladies usually say yes with a certain sense of surprise. All that is wonderful and acceptable. Ho Hum!

I'm really interested in knowing how the men know the size of the ring for the woman. Wouldn't it be really embarassing if the ring is too small and it doesn't go on? And wouldn't it be equally silly if it slips off as easily as it slips on. Therefore the man must know the radius of the woman's ring finger.

So how did that happen?

I'd Love to Invent This

2009-01-21T11:33:00.005+05:30

I was driving home with some friends, playing the music really loud and enjoying life in general. As I increased the bass to chest thumping levels I just had an idea that would not only help people but also make a little money while you're at it.

The problem: Deaf people cannot dance at night clubs because they cannot hear the music.

Solution: Create a wireless device to be worn on the chest that detects the lower frequencies and creates physical vibrations that peak synchronously with the beats of the music. It's easy to imagine a club in New York where they play music (without complex beats) where the lights act like equalizers and a large crowd, deaf and otherwise, is able to enjoy the music and dance.

If I wasn't a lazy bum, I bet I could sell this idea.

The Problem With Reading Malcolm Gladwell's Books

2009-01-21T10:57:00.005+05:30

.....is that his books are basically a set of hypothesis being validated by evidence chosen by the author. There is no criticism, no referee, no counterpoint and a complete lack of desire to consider that even if as a rule the hypothesis is true exceptions may exist. They do, however, make for very entertaining reading.

I am amazed at how little of our information in the public domain goes through a process of verification and validation. The worst culprits in the case are the Indian media. No matter how baseless the story, if it sells, it's a story. There is little hope of change anytime soon. Money talks.

On the other hand, this represents an ideal that we cannot even dream of. (Source: Amit Varma) .

The Most Haunting Piece of Music I have Ever Heard...

2009-01-09T17:26:00.003+05:30

....has to be "Any other name" from the American Beauty soundtrack. I have heard this track at least a few hundred times over the last few years. Each time I listen to it and I close my eyes, I am enveloped by this feeling that there is nothing left in this world worth living for. I feel like curling up and being left alone to die. It's as if everyone I ever cared for has left me and disappeared. I feel lost, alone, desperate, cold and forgotten. I cannot recall any music that has moved me so much. I am also amazed by the sheer consistency of the effect after all the years of listening to it.

The composer of this music, Thomas Newman, is one of the musical geniuses of our times. Many people will recall listening to his scores in the soundtrack of "The Shawshank Redemption", "The Road to Perdition" and "Pay it forward". I've been a fan of his ever since I saw American Beauty.

Joie de Vivre - The Joy of Living

2009-01-09T12:12:00.005+05:30

A couple of weeks ago I met my nephew, a happy-go-lucky, optimistic teen with an ever present smile. I barely spent twenty minutes talking to him about life and most of the discussion was about girls.

He spoke about how he likes skinnier girls and when he starts dating he hopes his girlfriend will be beautiful and fun to be with. His eyes betrayed his optimism and the joy he felt at the thought of being in a relationship, having someone to call his girlfriend.

There was an innocence and sincerity in his words and in his demeanor reminded me that I shall never feel that again. There was no artifice, just sincere and honest desire. It made me see how I have been corrupted by my experiences, how my weaknesses have stripped me of my last shreds of innocence.

And yet there I was basking in the joy of his youth. I felt alive for a while. It has been a long time since I have desired the warmth of a woman I can call mine. But for those fleeting moments, I felt like it wouldn't be so bad. I felt like I would do alright.

One could reason that it was the warm sunshine on a cool day, or the wonderful lunch we just devoured, it could even be that my loneliness was catching up reality. But the truth is it was the innocence of youth, the uncorrupted lust for a beautiful life. It's just been so long since I experienced it within that I had forgotten what it was like.

The Power Paradox

2009-01-08T11:26:00.002+05:30

I'm tired of the indian media constantly analyzing how great the western world thinks we are and how powerful we have become.
When we stop bothering then we will have arrived.

Mumbai

2009-01-08T01:35:00.000+05:30

It's a love affair where
I didn't have any
choice but to submit
Mostly she doesn't
love you back
Stinking, rude, unbending
But when she feels like it
she'll show you
what she can be,
what she can do
She taunts you
she teases you
She shows you how
she's a better mistress
to her moneyed lovers
and reminds you
that if have no
hidden pile of gold
you don't quite belong
Just go away, she says
You're a slave to
the real masters, the pigs
that rule the roost
Maybe it's one way
traffic and someday
you'll really go away
But then she'll seduce
you from the distance
Some love affairs, they,
just are that way.
Bloody fucking hell.

One of my favorite pieces of music

2009-01-07T15:11:00.000+05:30

Ithzak Perlman and Yo-Yo Ma playing one of my favorite pieces of classical music. ( I know I don't listen to much classical music but...)

My Nature

2009-01-07T15:01:00.000+05:30

I was driving to Pune a few evenings ago. Two lanes out of four on a stretch of road were closed for construction. Those of us heading east had to drive in the lane meant for oncoming traffic. I was irritated that west bound vehicles didn't give us enough space. The next evening as I was returning, now heading the other way, I cursed the east bound vehicles for slowing me down.