I've started writing this piece without knowing what to write about. All I know is I feel like writing. I have to be up in approximately four hours but the bent body and the tired mind don't equate to good sleep. I want to listen to a Bhimsen Joshi CD, there's something powerful in his voice like Enrico Caruso and Pavarotti. Sadly, all I can hear now are the stray dogs that act like they own the night. My neighbours feed strays like it guarantees them a flowery path to heaven. The strays though, unaware of the possibly divine consequences, are definitely very canine and of the very territorial variety. They guard their territories by barking the sanity out of my mind. Someday I shall make them listen to an entire day of proceedings of the Indian parliament. It's only fair.
It's the middle of the night, life is dark and so is the sky. It's the time when I should be snoring and dreaming. But the gentle taps on the keyboard do enough to remind me that I'm awake and this is not a dream. I wonder what my dreams are. I would often tell my father that I don't have a dream for my future. What I meant was that I had so many dreams that I did not know what to do. Now that I'm a few years older I still feel the same. I want to be many things. I don't like attention so the motivation for me is purely internal satisfaction. When I'm in a relationship, I try to impress my girlfriend, I want her to feel proud of me, I want her to give me some amount of attention. But since I'm single with no girlfriend in sight or sound now the only things that matter are things that make me feel happy or satisfied. I don't know why the world believes that selfishness is a bad attribute. I'm selfish, I think about what makes me happy and so long as it doesn't hurt anyone else I see no problem with my attitude. I should be left alone and when I die the next instant or minute or decade from now I will leave no trace of my existence. The world belongs to those who are yet to come, not those who have already gone away.
It's silent now. My not-so-dear conservative canine friends are probably re-charging their batteries for another round of heated political arguments over the benefits of democracy vs. plutocracy with their crazy liberal counterparts down the lane. I'm always in support of such healthy debate, I just wish it weren't carried out within barking distance of my window. With the curtains pulled and no lights on, the glow on the laptop makes it appear to be floating on air. I remember buying this laptop for my father. It was a matter of great pride for me. I also remember how proud my father was when I bought this for him. There are some what-if's and some if-only's in life that are really painful. What-if I had done this for him and if-only I had some more time etc. The truth is you've got to take what you already have and appreciate it. The past is that and only that, the past. Therefore you move forward, whether you've learnt your lessons or not. As Douglas Adams once wrote "You live and learn. At any rate, you live".
It's the middle of the night, life is dark and so is the sky. It's the time when I should be snoring and dreaming. But the gentle taps on the keyboard do enough to remind me that I'm awake and this is not a dream. I wonder what my dreams are. I would often tell my father that I don't have a dream for my future. What I meant was that I had so many dreams that I did not know what to do. Now that I'm a few years older I still feel the same. I want to be many things. I don't like attention so the motivation for me is purely internal satisfaction. When I'm in a relationship, I try to impress my girlfriend, I want her to feel proud of me, I want her to give me some amount of attention. But since I'm single with no girlfriend in sight or sound now the only things that matter are things that make me feel happy or satisfied. I don't know why the world believes that selfishness is a bad attribute. I'm selfish, I think about what makes me happy and so long as it doesn't hurt anyone else I see no problem with my attitude. I should be left alone and when I die the next instant or minute or decade from now I will leave no trace of my existence. The world belongs to those who are yet to come, not those who have already gone away.
It's silent now. My not-so-dear conservative canine friends are probably re-charging their batteries for another round of heated political arguments over the benefits of democracy vs. plutocracy with their crazy liberal counterparts down the lane. I'm always in support of such healthy debate, I just wish it weren't carried out within barking distance of my window. With the curtains pulled and no lights on, the glow on the laptop makes it appear to be floating on air. I remember buying this laptop for my father. It was a matter of great pride for me. I also remember how proud my father was when I bought this for him. There are some what-if's and some if-only's in life that are really painful. What-if I had done this for him and if-only I had some more time etc. The truth is you've got to take what you already have and appreciate it. The past is that and only that, the past. Therefore you move forward, whether you've learnt your lessons or not. As Douglas Adams once wrote "You live and learn. At any rate, you live".
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