A couple of weeks ago I met my nephew, a happy-go-lucky, optimistic teen with an ever present smile. I barely spent twenty minutes talking to him about life and most of the discussion was about girls.
He spoke about how he likes skinnier girls and when he starts dating he hopes his girlfriend will be beautiful and fun to be with. His eyes betrayed his optimism and the joy he felt at the thought of being in a relationship, having someone to call his girlfriend.
There was an innocence and sincerity in his words and in his demeanor reminded me that I shall never feel that again. There was no artifice, just sincere and honest desire. It made me see how I have been corrupted by my experiences, how my weaknesses have stripped me of my last shreds of innocence.
And yet there I was basking in the joy of his youth. I felt alive for a while. It has been a long time since I have desired the warmth of a woman I can call mine. But for those fleeting moments, I felt like it wouldn't be so bad. I felt like I would do alright.
One could reason that it was the warm sunshine on a cool day, or the wonderful lunch we just devoured, it could even be that my loneliness was catching up reality. But the truth is it was the innocence of youth, the uncorrupted lust for a beautiful life. It's just been so long since I experienced it within that I had forgotten what it was like.
He spoke about how he likes skinnier girls and when he starts dating he hopes his girlfriend will be beautiful and fun to be with. His eyes betrayed his optimism and the joy he felt at the thought of being in a relationship, having someone to call his girlfriend.
There was an innocence and sincerity in his words and in his demeanor reminded me that I shall never feel that again. There was no artifice, just sincere and honest desire. It made me see how I have been corrupted by my experiences, how my weaknesses have stripped me of my last shreds of innocence.
And yet there I was basking in the joy of his youth. I felt alive for a while. It has been a long time since I have desired the warmth of a woman I can call mine. But for those fleeting moments, I felt like it wouldn't be so bad. I felt like I would do alright.
One could reason that it was the warm sunshine on a cool day, or the wonderful lunch we just devoured, it could even be that my loneliness was catching up reality. But the truth is it was the innocence of youth, the uncorrupted lust for a beautiful life. It's just been so long since I experienced it within that I had forgotten what it was like.
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